Funny Quotes for Graduation Speeches

If youve been asked to speak at a high school or college graduation or celebration, you may be searching for the perfect icebreaker. But how do you get a group of serious-minded students and their parents to crack a smile? Fortunately, plenty of famous (and not-so-famous) writers and orators have been in the same situation before you, and have come up with some clever, witty quotes to borrow. Funny Quotes About Education and Learning High schools and colleges take academics very seriously, but there is a funny side to learning! UnknownOne thing about the school of experience is that it will repeat the lesson if you flunk the first time. George ForemanI think sleeping was my problem in school. If  school  had started at 4:00 in the afternoon, Id be a  college graduate  today. Oscar WildeEducation  is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught. Theodore  Roosevelt  A  man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car. But if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. Funny Quotes About Graduation Graduation is a formal event with lots of pomp and circumstance. Seen through the right lens, though, it is pretty funny! Robert OrbenA graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that individuality is the key to success. Gary BoldingYour families are extremely proud of you. You cant imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money. Doug LarsonThe trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate. James DarcyIt was only when I finished the course and left my graduation diploma on the bus that I realized Id become an actor. Garry TrudeauCommencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. Robert GoheenIf you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you. UnknownThe tassel’s worth the hassle! Erma Bombeck  Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.  Ã‚  Ã‚   Jon StewartThe unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. Bill Watterson  So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it. Funny Quotes About Succeeding in Life Most commencement speakers have something to say about success in life and the road ahead. Here are some quotes to add a little humor to your sage advice. ProverbYou cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom. Ed HelmsSo long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, youre on the right track. Frank A. Clark  If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesnt lead anywhere. UnknownAll that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder.  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚   Ellen DeGeneres  Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone elses path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that.